Thomas Edison, inventor of the telephone. Theodore Roosevelt,
U.S. President and Harvard graduate. Serena Williams, tennis champion. Laura
Ingalls Wilder, author of Little House on the Prairie. Robert Frost, poet.
Michelle Kwan, Olympic ice skater.
What do all of these famous people have in common? They were homeschooled.
My name is Arlene Yuen and I am so humbled to be here with you all and share a little bit about my family and our
homeschool journey. I’m not a professional speaker. I’m just a mom, like you, standing up here
sharing my journey.
First, I’d like to give you a little background. I was born in southern California to a
Hawaiian father and immigrant mother from Mexico. They met when they were young and are still
married. I was raised in a strict religious home in an Arizona
suburb. Since they were both hippies, school was appreciated by them but not a
priority. After I graduated high school,
I made many moves around the country enjoying adventure. I ended up returning home and attending
college while working full-time. I
didn’t want to be married and I sure didn’t want to have kids. I soon married and had a wonderful little
boy. When he was 1 year old, I was physically abused and abandoned; forced to
become a single-mother. When this little
boy was 5, I married again, had become a Christian and moved to Texas. I call myself a “born again Texan”. My husband often says that though we weren’t
born here, we got here as fast as we could. My husband inherited my oldest,
Wyatt, who is now 17 and a senior. We
then had Tatum, a beautiful daughter who is 10, precious Dallas who is 6 and adorable
Josiah who is 1.
Now, I’d like to share my homeschool journey with you in 3
parts: How we started homeschooling, How we did it, and How it works.
After several years of being a working professional, I was
excited to become a stay-at-home mom. My little boy, Wyatt (which means
warrior), was in Kindergarten and I was shocked that in the state of Texas it’s
full-day. Where I came from,
Kindergarten was half-day. I was looking
forward to spending time with this little guy after all that time working. I volunteered wherever I could: the library,
the lunch room, recess, the classroom. I
was even “room mom” which all the other veteran moms kind of snickered and
looked at me as if I had “SUCKER” typed across my forehead. But, I didn’t care. I was so zealous to parent my little guy and
determined to know all his friends and his teachers. I spent so much time at
the school that ALL of the kids knew me.
We would chat at recess and you would be shocked at the conversation
that went on between 5 year olds. It was obvious that these little people had
older (not necessarily more mature) influences in their lives (primarily older
brothers and sisters who were NOT monitored.)
On several occasions, I coerced my husband to also volunteer at our
son’s school. He was flabbergasted when
he heard what the little girls would talk about. They would review movies seen
over the weekend, many of which were rated-R.
At that point, he started researching Christian schools in
the Metroplex. Don’t get me wrong, Wyatt
had a great Kindergarten experience. His
teacher was young and full of energy.
She was a Christian and so loving to the students. She even taught Wyatt how to read. The principal at his school was a Christian
as well and started every PTA meeting with a prayer, regardless of who was
present. The faculty were warm and
welcoming, and had a true love of teaching.
But, my husband was still so focused on getting our son into
a more Christian environment. He looked
at schools in Grapevine, Colleyville, Hurst, and Fort Worth. To me the cost was astronomical and
ridiculous. That’s just my opinion and I
have many friends who send their children to those wonderful private schools. I just couldn’t justify it for our
family. So, in a moment of rebellion I
stated to my husband, “For $10,000 a year, I could do it. I’m always at the
school anyway.” The moment that followed
was pivotal and changed our lives forever.
His response to me was “Great! You do it!”
Almost as immediate as the words came out of my mouth, I was
trying to retract them. I didn’t really
mean what I said. I didn’t really mean I
could do it. My degree was in business
not elementary education. I had no
experience teaching. I was not patient
enough. I didn’t know any normal people
that did this. It was a “coincidence” that my husband coached Wyatt’s baseball
team with a father who homeschooled his kids. So, I called up the mom and
picked her brain. She invited me over to
observe their family interactions and see how “do-able” this thing called
HOMESCHOOLING could be. She gave me
books to read and invited me to the local homeschool convention.
Since this was my husband’s great idea, he accompanied me to
the convention and we listened intently to almost every speaker there. We walked the aisles perusing mountains of
curriculum being completely overwhelmed. I still didn’t think this was a real
feasibility for me to do.
Fast forward a couple months, after much prayer, we started
our journey. Don’t get me wrong, I
didn’t hear God’s audible voice saying “ARLENE, YOU MUST HOMESCHOOL!” I just
didn’t hear a “No!” from God and as a Christian I wasn’t called to an “easy
life”. Sure I could have stayed home and
ate bon bons, been a lady who lunches, or go to the gym all the time. I really might have enjoyed that. But, there was a reason God allowed my
outburst and my husband to agree. That’s how is started.
Now, on to my second point, HOW WE DO IT. Really, needs change as the family
changes. So, our schooling at home changes
and evolves accordingly.
When we started, Wyatt was in first grade and he was missing
everything from his former public school way of life: his friends, his
teachers, his classes. I had one child
and feared dropping the ball in his college-preparatory career. So, I found a
book on education-at- home. I don’t
remember where I heard of this revolutionary book or who recommended it, but it
has proved to be a God-send. I refer to
it as my homeschool bible and still use it today. Having no background in elementary education
or a network of people to bounce ideas off of, I had no clue on choosing
curriculum. It was pretty much a shot in
the dark. There was no rhyme or reason,
other than liking a title or being drawn to a book cover when choosing Wyatt’s
books. Thankfully, I had heard that if
one type of curriculum didn’t work with my child’s personality or learning
style, I could try another. And that’s
another thing… Learning style? I had
never heard of such a thing. I spent the
next few months engrossed in learning and reading and teaching. I was actually in heaven, though a little
petrified still. We spent hours learning
how to add, re-enacting battle scenes from history, doing science experiments
in the kitchen. I could really get used
to this. THANK YOU, GOD!
Challenges were certainly thrown at us, like my husband
losing his job right after 9/11. He
ended up getting 3 very low paying jobs just to put food on the table. Two of the 3 jobs were at night and so the
little sleep he did get was during the day.
Wyatt and I had to do our best to keep quiet so Dad could sleep. How can you instruct or teach while whispering???
Well, Wyatt and I looked at that as another opportunity for learning. So, we learned sign language so we could
“speak” to each other silently.
Another large challenge came during our second year
homeschooling. I became pregnant with my second child. For most people this is a joyous time of
preparing for the new life God has blessed one with. For me???
Pregnancy and I do not play well together. I have morning sickness the entire pregnancy. So badly that I am hospitalized every time I’m pregnant. The end is no better than the journey. And, I end up with an emergency c-section and
just generally not well. So, during that
homeschooling year, I spent a majority of my time lying on my couch while Wyatt
fetched me popsicle after popsicle. I really thought that I should put him in
regular school so that he could be learning.
But, I’m so glad I didn’t. We
didn’t accomplish as much as my Type-A, control freak personality would have
liked. But, we spent valuable time
together making memories. We strengthened our relationship which will last a
lifetime.
Little did I know that once that sweet baby girl arrived, Tatum
(which means “brings joy”), life was about to get really hairy. Multitasking was an understatement. Trying to
read a history lesson was interrupted by a crying baby that needed to nurse.
Spelling tests were interrupted by a newborn needing a diaper change. During
this time my young son, who was VERY social still wanted friendships, so we
actively pursued “homeschool support groups”. I was blessed to find a local
group that had other kids my son’s age.
We started going to Park Days and getting to know other families who
were as crazy as we were. Wyatt also
started taking a Texas History class with a mom who had her Bachelor’s degree
in Geography from UT. Thank you God for
sending me to this group!!! These women were another God-send.
We continued to not only pursue academics but also sports and
other outside activities. I enrolled
Wyatt at a local Christian school in Grapevine that had a “homeschool umbrella”
program. They met once a week through the
entire school year with other homeschool kids on campus. The kids had Spanish, Art, PE, library, music
and lunch. Nothing too heavy, but surely
a good time. We stayed at that school
for 5 years and made many good friends.
By the time it was necessary for our family to move on, my
daughter was coming into school age. She had already sat and played while I
taught Wyatt Latin. So, why was I
shocked when she would answer the questions I had for him “AMO AMAS AMAT AMAMUS
AMATUS AMANT”. I didn’t want to make the same mistakes I thought I made with
Wyatt. By this time I had done even more
research and kept hearing professionals say, “You don’t want to push the child
too much so that they lose the LOVE of learning.” I really tried to fight every
fiber in my Type-A, control freak personality so as not to push her too hard,
too early. But, it was her fault. She LOVED learning! She was reading by age 4
and pretty much taught herself. She was
doing math and all kinds of stuff. I was
elated! We did have to get her involved in some activity that would help expel
the boundless energy this little angel had. Gymnastics seemed to be the perfect
resolution.
Okay so by this time, I had been homeschooling Wyatt for four
years and yet I still felt like a novice. We continued to make friends and
embark on new adventures. We went on
many field trips and many park and play dates.
This funny thing happens when you homeschool, your kids are
around people of all ages. They aren’t
restricted to playing with kids who are only their same age or in their same
grade. When you meet at the park to play
and there’s another family with siblings older and younger, you find a way to
include everyone. When you accompany your mom on a mid-day trip to Target and
the check-out girls asks if you are sick (because why else would you not be in
school) you are able to have a small chat and improve your social skills. When
you always go with your big brother to his friends’ houses, you think those
people are really YOUR friends. And you
want to invite them to your birthday party even though they are MANY years
older than you.
Fast forward a couple years and let’s add Dallas into the
mix. Dallas, sweet Dallas (which means
“wise”). He is a unique creature. The
most loving and laid back little guy you could ever find. He constantly wants kisses from mom out of
the blue. He’s also extremely
rambunctious. Turns every straight item
found into a sword which he would like to pretend to impale you and you should
play along. He’s very physical and seems to fall (purposely and on accident) at
every turn. This little guy was my wild card and schooling a son entering
middle school and a daughter entering grade school, would prove to be a
challenge. Creativity was my friend and God was on speed-dial.
Just when I thought things could not get any more insane,
things did. My husband and I were having
severe marital problems and were getting a divorce. Thinking I would have to go
back into the work force, I reluctantly put Wyatt and Tatum in public
school. Funny thing is that I wasn’t
scared. I was happy for them. I was confident that God would be there for
them. The process was seamless and the Keller public school system has some
fine individuals working for them. They
were kind, welcoming and courteous. My
kids made the transition like champs. That year they thrived which was a real
encouragement to me. Because as
homeschoolers, you may fall victim to the mentality of comparing. Looking around too much and wondering if
you’re doing enough. If your kids would
be able to learn the same as their public school counterparts. So, when they
both were getting straight A’s and making too many friends to count, I felt
relieved. Mind you these are not
biblical goals, they were fleshly and worldly. But, it was still an insecurity
of mine.
Thankfully, God was put first and my marriage was saved. My husband and I reconciled and didn’t go
through with the divorce. After much more prayer, we asked the kids what they
would like to do and they both agreed to come back home. Honestly, I was shocked! My son was loving
school and the athletics program. The
kid who could sleep through an atomic bomb, was now waking up at 5:30AM so he
could make his own lunch before heading to track practice. He had tested grades higher academically so
his teachers were loving him and made him feel super special. He had made many friends and enjoyed
attending plays and concerts with them.
Tatum was loving school just as much.
She had made many friends and loved it there. Yet, for many reasons,
they missed homeschooling.
It could have been the mastery over your own schedule they
had been accustomed to, doing school in as quick a time possible to move on to
more interesting activities. It could
have been the friends who were authentic, kind Christian kids who love their
families just as much as mine. Or maybe
it was all the fun field trips we would go on: the Dallas Aquarium, the Money
Factory, the Symphony, the Opera. It could have been the freedom of standing at
the counter instead of being made to “sit in your chair!” But, the real reason
that my kids agreed to come back home to school was….. doing school in your
pj’s.
By this time, I had to buckle down and focus a little more on
college prep. So, we decided to venture out and tried classes at a local
homeschool facility. It was an
interesting time there. Of course
friends were made. Wyatt did well
learning Biology from a gal who had a true passion for science as well as a
Masters from Dallas Baptist University. But, after a year there, we decided it
wasn’t a good fit for our family.
During this same time, I had begun schooling Dallas. And being the typical third child that he
was, he marches to the beat of his own drum. One day while I was prepping his
school, which was sure to be fun manipulatives, he expressed “I hate
school. I don’t want to do school. I want to watch TV.” Really? Did my child just say this? Does he know how fun this is? It’s not workbooks and tracing. It’s stacking and sorting using your hands. It’s making towers and patterns and moving
around. Surely, this sweet son of a
homeschooling mom did not mean it???? If he didn’t mean it, he sure pretended
to. As loving and sweet as he was, he
would buck the system. He would buck the
Type-A control freak that was his mother.
God has a sense of humor and God knew that Dallas is exactly
what I needed to die to myself. To take up my cross daily. To not take myself
too seriously. To focus on eternal
things, like my babies’ souls, not making them read by age 4. Thank you, God!
So, just as every other time before this, our homeschool
evolved and changed. And, before I knew
it, I was changing, too. This Type-A,
control freak, never wanted to marry or have kids crazy person was being
transformed into a more patient, child-loving, homeschool mom. I call myself a “recovering control freak.”
Back to homeschooling, every year we seemed to try a
different “co-op” looking for the perfect fit for the Yuens. (*A co-op is a cooperative learning
environment where each family pitches in for the betterment of the whole. One
mom might teach cooking while one teaches history while one watches the babies.)
Each co-op we met amazing people, had awesome adventures and grew as
individuals. Some places didn’t work because I had a toddler. Some places
didn’t work, because I had a high schooler that needed more challenge. Some places didn’t work because the people
weren’t our kind of people.
While trying out different co-ops, we were still doing most
of the “heavy lifting” at home. Where we used to all sit around the dining
table learning had changed into older son on his laptop writing papers while I
taught read to daughter while other little son listened (or tried fake stabbing
us with his sword).
So, that’s HOW WE DO IT.
Now, I’d like to share with you HOW IT WORKS.
As you can probably guess, it works because we rely on God.
We stay flexible. Being organized is also helpful but certainly not a
requirement. As you know by now, my
Type-A recovering control freak personality loves to organize and plan which is
great theoretically. But, I still have
to wait upon the Lord and remember that I’m doing this for Him and for His
glory.
Right now, my oldest is 17 and a senior so we have spent this
year prepping for college and applying.
He takes most classes outside the home because at this point the student
had surpassed the master. He has done well academically and is being offered
many scholarships, although right now he’s holding out for a full-ride from his
dream school. Originally he wanted to become a worship pastor or missionary but
he has shifted his sights to a business degree to open as many doors as
possible for God to work. He also does competitive speech and debate and spends
time researching, prepping or traveling for tournaments. Last month he was in
Tennessee competing and placing 2nd in the entire tournament. He is
qualified for Nationals. Wyatt also spends time at his part-time job as a
marketing assistant when not studying or prepping for the SAT test. He also
serves every week on the worship team where he gets to serve the Lord with the
piano talents God blessed him with.
My daughter, Tatum, who is 10 and a gymnast spends several
hours a day training to compete in the sport she loves. She is challenged and
enjoys her time training. This past fall she competed so well she qualified for
State. This month we will be traveling to Atlanta for another gymnastics meet
and she is so excited. As for academics,
math and science are her favorite subjects and she does exceptionally well in.
Since she’s still a little girl and loves dolls, she is in an American Girl
History Class I teach monthly with about a dozen of her good friends. She also
serves at church in the preschool area doing puppets.
My little Dallas has changed his tune a little bit when it
comes to school. He sees it as a means to an end. “If I get my school done, then I can go ride
my bike.” Or “If I do good at school today, Mommy will let me have a playdate.”
Unfortunately, I still hear daily “I don’t wanna’ do school! I hate school!”
But, he turns it around and ends up amazing me by reading a book I had no clue
he knew how or adding numbers I never taught him to. His love is baseball and
football and he begs daily for us to sign him up. Which is our plan when things slow down just
a bit next month.
My baby Josiah, named after good king Josiah of the bible, is
almost 2. I cherish EVERY moment with
him. He is very clingy, but we’ll say attached. He is our mascot. He doesn’t
know that he can’t read or write with pencils or work on the computer. He makes
meals in the play kitchen while we read history. He rides his scooter while we
practice math. He colors while we do
art. He is very involved.
I tell you these things about my kids not to sound
“bragadocious” but to let you know that homeschooling has worked for my
family. It has allowed each child to
flourish. We are not perfect and we have
had our fair share of tragedies and challenges. But, God is faithful and has
guided us on this adventure called homeschooling.
Homeschooling is not cookie-cutter. No two homeschools would ever look
alike. What works for my family may not
work for the next. But, that’s what’s been so beautiful about this journey. We
can find what works for our family. Some families are not like us and wake up
late. Some families enjoy the freedom from rigidity or schedule. Some families
school at night. Some families have
fancy school rooms with desks and special book cases. Some families have 1
student, some have 11. Some never leave the house and only do school. Some are never home and do more “car
schooling”. They are all different.
In closing, I thought about sharing with you some amazing
statistics about homeschooling like “According to U.S. News and World report, 2
million students were homeschooled in 2010” Or “Those homeschooled, graduate
college with a higher GPA than their peers.” And so on. But, really, homeschool for us was more than
just academics. Our homeschool journey
can be summarized in Deuteronomy 6:5 “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all
your strength. 6 These commandments
that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about
them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and
when you get up.”
*This article was taken from notes at an event I was asked to speak at in 2013.